The time has come, and I'm going to be your philosophical guide through today's update. Before we begin, though, everyone needs to soothe their chi, focus their spirit, and get on this carpet with me, cause I'm gonna take you to a whole new world?

"If awesomeness is the essence of essenceness, and Scotland was founded in the 'early days,' then we will rise again to take your children."

That's what FooleyCooley was talkin' about the other day just moments before he sprung his trap on us, but it was a trap of goodness, and we got both arms caught in it. It was ok, though, cause inside not only did we find the super shotgun:



But beside Karl's journey spirit, was a knife and a wrench, both of which were believed to be involved in a massive orca slaying.



You're probably wondering how we were able to save ourselves from this trap, and it wasn't easy... you can't really know the effects of three pounds of peyote until you fall down the stairs at your grandparent's 50th anniversary, and somebody helps you up. Well, when we looked up, there were two people lookin' down on us.

First of all, there was omen, who grabbed us by the legs and used his modeling prowess to keep decs' glass of bourbon always half-full, and on the other end there was ted_maul who was holding us by the wrists and tryin' to comfort our fractured spine with promises of "super neat-o" special effects through his huge cup of coding knowledge. Neither of these two guys could help with the damage done to our soul, though. No, we had to hire a thin-lipped Jewish woman who answers to the name of BritishTang to whisper those sweet nothings to us in the form of all things sound-related.

Later on, though, we were nursing ourselves back to health with a beautiful big breasted Scottish gentlemen who told us all these stories about how he used to chase gazelles through the corridors of the far away land of "ff_bases," and while he tried to paint a mental picture for us, he failed, so we hired some other guy to just make the map for us so we could play it instead.



Although the fog is thick, so are the waves, and we should heed the warning of those giant Indians that stepped out of that spaceship, and remember when the time comes, "It's ok to be naked with friends."

Which, roughly translated, means, "There are thousands, if not several, more screenshots deep within' the belly of the mongrels?"

O&A PARTY ROCK!

Our map texture artists MrBeefy and Blunkka surely have been cranking out the goods, but we've decided to ramp up production even further by hiring another, making it an impressive threesome. Think "Three Musketeers". Interested?

Check out the job openings section over there to the left for the down-low on how to apply.

We've now got our sound guy. Thanks to all that applied.

Update 03/26: We're now looking for an additional level designer, as well as another prop artist to round out the team!

Head on over to Planet Half-Life to see a "HUGE" Fortress Forever interview. Thanks goes out to D3pth Charge, who sent us the list of thoughtful questions and who waited patiently for our responses (that were answered collectively by the FF dev team).

Click here for the full interview text, where you can find Q&As like:

PHL: Is your team for the most part on the same page when it comes to the mod's vision, or do you find yourselves in many heated debates over the path that you want to take? Do you reach a compromise or does Schtoofa have last say? Or is that Dospac's jurisdiction?

Fortress Forever: Generally speaking, we have the same vision of the mod. People will always have different opinions on the micro scale so we generally work as a democracy. Who concludes the debate really depends on what area is being discussed. In same cases the leads pull rank, and in some rare cases I (Schtoofa) have also. That seldom happens, though. It's surprising how a common vision just sort of evolved and has spread throughout the dev team members.

Additionally, ZombiekE has translated the PHL interview and posted a Spanish version which may be of interest to some. Check it out.

Well, folks, admittedly it's been a long time since we've given you pretty FF "in progress" pictures to look at. I hereby offer, to the faithful and not so faithful onlookers, some proof that we're still working diligently to bring you hot Fortress Forever action in the near future.

First, I offer exhibits A, B, C, and D. In the legal profession, they're what we like to call "well" and "cornfield".





Next, I offer exhibit E. He's a very important character whom you are responsible for either killing or protecting. We call him (cue suspense-building music) ... the Civilian.



Moving on, observe exhibits F, G, and H (which represent potential murder weapons, depending on how they're used).





Lastly, check out Hired-Gun's metal work. This stuff is very cool!



Visit our media section for many more images that hopefully suit your fancy!

In the spirit of the holidays, here's some hot media action from your favorite Uncles. Though we developers are entirely too stingy to spring for expensive in-game action (hey, who likes that crap anyway?), we thought you Tiny Tims out there might enjoy these morsels.


Aunt Decs (flowing locks of brown hair) and Uncle Fooley_Cooley, always the cheek-pinching types, sent these via USPS Global Express Guaranteed for some ungodly pile of dough and a kidney or two -- thankfully they arrived in time for your grubby paws to rip them open in the morning.


... so y'all have a happy non-denominational politically correct commercialized holiday! Save some 'nog for us while you check out the rest of our good cheer in the yuletide media section.